Montana Bride Page 18

  “Sure.” She concentrated on the driveway up ahead, where ice gleamed in the sun and led the way into the shadowy forest. Star’s ears perked up, swiveled as if to listen in on the human conversation. Willa tugged on the rein again. “Is this right? I want to keep the runners on the good patch of ice.”

  “That’s it. You always have to think ahead of the horse, where she’ll be and where you will be.” He eased back, not a drop of nervousness showed. He appeared to have complete confidence in her. “It will become first nature, once you get the hang of it.”

  “I’m waiting to hear that story of yours.” She gave the left rein enough tug to bring the mare on a straight course toward the forest. “What will it take to get you to tell it?”

  “Some more of that bean soup for supper.”

  “You know we’re having it leftover for tonight anyway.”

  “Then I guess I have no choice, but I warn you. It is a tale full of woe.” Humor crinkled across his face. Laugh lines framed his eyes, dimples bracketed his grin and his chuckle rang warm enough to chase winter away for good.

  “It can’t be too woeful, since you and your family managed to survive.” She felt light-hearted and not at all like herself. More like a brand-new Willa, one with the wind in her face and tangling her hair, driving her own horse toward town. “No one seems scarred or maimed.”

  “Fortunately, not for the long term,” he quipped. When he smiled into her eyes it felt as if he went all the way in, all the way down to the barriers around her heart where no one had been before. So close, she longed to nestle a little nearer to him on the seat. She ached to feel the comfort of his arms around her.

  “I was moseying along just like you are doing now.” The shadows made by the forest cloaked him, hinting only at the straight cut of his profile, the curve of his mouth and the set of his shoulders as he tugged down his hat brim against the wind. “I was twelve years old, around the time a boy ought to learn how to handle a team of horses. I loved the feel of the horses’ mouths traveling up the leather straps. I loved the wind in my face and the feel of freedom. Like I could go anywhere.”

  “Yes, that’s how I feel, too.” There her eyes went, sliding toward him instead of staying firmly on the road ahead. She craved the sight of him. She had to see the flash of his dimples. She yearned for the sweetness she felt when their gazes met and his smile touched her deep within.

  What was wrong with her? She blinked, but the road ahead didn’t come into focus. The blur of trees in the shadowy forest seemed background to the man who made her pulse leap. The man who stirred something sweet and aching within her. Why did her gaze center on his lips? His lips could curve into a smile or into a hard granite line when he concentrated, and when he kissed…

  Stop right there, Willa. She couldn’t keep going like this. This was dangerous thinking. She forced her attention on the road, where melting water splashed on the surface of the hard-packed snow, making a musical sound beneath Star’s hooves.

  Thank goodness he continued with his story, unaware of her problem.

  “I was nervous at first,” he explained. “I didn’t want anything to go wrong. If I made a mistake, my brothers would never let me live it down.”

  “I’ve noticed that about your brothers.”

  “So there I was, doing my best. Pa had just finished praising me and Ma had stopped Brant from mimicking me behind my back so all was well when it happened. Out of the blue, a snake slithered out of the grasses and onto the road in front of the team. Apparently, he didn’t look both ways before he crossed, because we surprised him, too. The ten-foot-long snake coiled up and rattled its tail. One horse reared in terror, while the other lunged off the road, leaped across the ditch and landed in a field, dragging all of us along with him.”

  “That wasn’t your fault,” she sympathized, making a mental note to keep an eye out for snakes.

  “No, but my reaction was. Instead of working to calm the horses and anticipate their reactions, I gave a whoop of terror, too. I’m not overly fond of snakes.”

  “A big strong man like you?”

  “They put me in a sweat and I was sweating plenty seeing that big huge snake coiled up ready to strike. I sat there panicking, watching the horse rear up in front of me, his big broad back getting closer and closer. Pa tried to get hold of the reins, but I was frozen. I couldn’t make my fingers let go and suddenly we were in the ditch, I was airborne and landed face first in a patch of blackberry bushes.”

  “Austin, you were hurt.”

  “Full of prickers and stained with berry juice. That wasn’t the worst indignity. I broke my leg. There I was purple-black, bleeding from the stickers and hopping on one leg back to the others. Pa had gone airborne, too, but he landed in the field. He was fine. The buckboard wasn’t so lucky. It was stuck in the ditch, pitched at an angle with a wheel and axel broken. My brothers laughed up a storm.”

  “And Evelyn?”

  “Laughing with them. I can still see them, pointing their fingers at me. I had blackberries oozing off the top of my head. ‘Well, son,’ Pa said in that deep low baritone of his. ‘I never thought you’d wreck the family vehicle your first time out while we were still in the driveway.’”

  “Hey, I’m still in the driveway. I don’t appreciate that story. It gives me a sense of doom.”

  “Sorry.” His laughter burrowed into her, drawing her somehow closer to him although she hadn’t moved an inch on the seat. It was as if her entire being leaned in to him, aching to be closer. The emotional longing became physical, as if every cell in her body yearned for his nearness. What was going on?

  It was the weakness she had for him, she realized, the softness he made her feel. Her mouth tingled once again with the memory of his kiss. It was impossible to forget. She feared she would be stuck reliving the memory of it over and over, never being able to stop. When he moved closer to lay his hands over hers on the reins, the snap of his touch went straight to her soul. The deepest places within her—both emotional and physical—tingled the way her lips had from his kiss.

  “Perhaps I should have saved that story for a little later,” he joked again, his breath fanning her ear and the side of her face. “Fortunately for us, it’s not snake weather.”

  “Lucky me.” The words came out thick and strained, as if not her own. “We’re almost at the end of the driveway. So far I’ve done better than you on my first time out.”

  “Darlin’, anyone could do better than my first time out. It was humiliating.” His cheek rested against the side of her head, but it was more than a simple touch. Much more. The simple contact dug deep within her and stayed, as if it were a part of her. Peace filled her with a powerful sweep, way beyond any feeling she’d experienced before. Overcome, she wanted to lean into him, too, to draw in more of this feeling, this wonderful feeling.

  “The county road is coming up.” His words caressed her temple, almost a kiss against her skin. “You want to learn to judge how much of a tug, because that tells your mare how much of a turn you want her to make. Like this.”

  His left hand guided hers, showing her the pressure to use on the rein. But all she could feel was him as the mare turned perfectly onto the road and into the sunlight. The brightness stung her eyes and her wish for him lit up her entire being. Everything within her yearned for him as he released his hold on her hands.

  “You did that perfectly. You didn’t need my help at all.” He straightened up but he didn’t move away.

  “So far so good.” She flashed him a smile. “I’m relieved not to have a disaster story to tell, the way you do.”

  “That’s my brothers. They never let me live down a single mistake.” He shook his head, not able to find the right words to describe Brant and Derek. Troublesome. Pesky. The best brothers a man could have.

  “Oh? I have to hear more about all of those m
istakes.” She tilted her head to one side, studying him through her long lashes. “I’ll beg Evelyn for more stories the next time I see her.”

  “I’m in big trouble,” he chuckled. “I’m never going to have your good opinion after that.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. My opinion of you might be so high those stories couldn’t begin to lower it.”

  “Good to know.” He’d been right. Love between them was only a matter of time. With every passing moment, he could feel her guard coming down. He ached, needing to be close to her, as close as he could get. He couldn’t help letting his cheek come to rest against the top of her head.

  Please love me, he wished with all his might. Please, feel for me what I feel for you.

  The sun chose that moment to brighten, casting spring’s heat onto them as they flew toward town. The snow melted like a promise, giving way to a world lush and green.

  * * *

  “Here, let me help you down.” Austin reached up for her in the shadow of the barn. The drive was done, her lesson was over and she was officially able to handle the mare on her own. She wasn’t aware of her shoes touching the ground, only the connection she felt to Austin as she stepped from the seat. Her connection to him held her fast, refusing to let go even when her hand left his.

  He reached to unbuckle the harness and free the mare. The late-afternoon light hung low on the horizon, skimming the tops of the evergreens and skimming over him. His hat brim, the line of his back and his muscled arms were bathed in light.

  What a sight, she thought with a little sigh.

  “That’s it, Star. You did a fine job today.” He worked slowly around the wary mare, keeping his voice calm as he spoke to her. He seemed aware of the horse’s fear and did everything he could to reassure her.

  Willa liked that about him. She liked so many things about Austin she couldn’t begin to list them all. She felt buoyant as she followed him into the barn, so happy from the successful lesson and her life on this land that the spring wind was likely to lift her up and blow her away.

  “Since you know how to hitch and unhitch, I won’t make you take notes.” Dimples framed his smile as he lifted Star’s collar off her neck. Even from halfway across the barn his dimples had a hazardous effect. Her pulse skipped three beats and she couldn’t look away.

  Maybe it was time to admit this exhilaration she felt wasn’t from the excitement of the drive. It came from something deeper. “Fine by me. I don’t mind letting you do the heavy work.”

  “I’m a blacksmith.” He hung up the horse collar. “I’m good at doing heavy work.”

  Rosie mooed for attention. Calvin poked his nose into the aisle and made a grab for Austin’s hat, but the man didn’t notice. His eyes remained on her, a smile touched his lips and her heart lurched crazily, missing three more beats. She ducked her chin, breaking the connection.

  She felt too close to him and it frightened her because she trusted him so much. With every breath she took, she trusted him more. As she listened to the pad of his boots marching closer, she knew he would never lift a hand to hurt her. He would never say an unkind word. He would always be the stalwart, decent man he’d shown himself to be.

  “Do you think Star will always be afraid of us?” she found herself asking instead, saying the first thing that came into her head because she didn’t want to think about her past or their future. She didn’t want to build up hopes for a future as his bride that might not come true.

  “I don’t know.” Austin raised his hand slowly, but the mare sidestepped, mistrustful. “When I bought her, I had hoped she would eventually understand that she’s safe.”

  “But she’s still so afraid.” Willa could feel the animal’s anxiety in the air. “I hate to think how she’s been treated.”

  “I do, too. The truth is, she may never overcome it completely. Sometimes the heart is too broken to trust again.” He knelt to towel down the mare’s long, lean legs. “I hope that’s not the case with her. We just have to give her time.”

  Austin’s words stuck with her. She knew what it was like to have a heart like that—too broken to trust again, too scarred to love.

  After Jed, she’d told herself the fairy tales she’d grown up with as a child were lies. That the happy bonds she’d witnessed as a little girl in the mercantile, as parents drove their children to the schoolhouse and newlyweds walked past her grandmother’s shanty hand in hand, were just people making the best of a bad situation, that was all. Finding the good where they could.

  Now she wasn’t so sure. A pressure built like a bubble in her chest, expanding painfully with every breath. She grabbed a brush from the shelf and approached the mare. “I’m going to groom you. Is that all right, Star?”

  The mare’s eyes darted from Austin to her. Her velvety muzzle sniffed the bristles and sighed. Her tether held her captive, a condition she could never escape. Hopelessness radiated from the animal, an emotion Willa understood too well.

  “I won’t hurt you, girl. I promise.” She stroked her fingertips down Star’s velvet-soft nose, but the horse merely continued to shiver in fine quakes.

  “I thought she might do better with a lady. She’s less afraid of you.” Austin continued his gentle work. “She handled very well for you on the drive.”

  “She was a dream. So very obedient. She’s a good girl and I want her to feel happy here.” She began brushing the mare’s mane, going up on her tiptoes to brush the coarse tufts of sleek hair. “Thank you for the driving lesson.”

  “No problem.” He rose to his full height to rub down the horse’s flanks. “I tried to point out places in town I thought you might like. The bakery. The bookshop. Evelyn’s house. You were concentrating on driving so I wasn’t sure how much you heard.”

  “I just didn’t want to crash into anyone on the street. Imagine the story that would make.” She watched him circle around Star’s backside, working his way closer. With his head bent to his task and dark hair tumbling into his eyes, he looked like her dream with the sunlight cast over him.

  He was too far away. The few feet of distance between them felt like a mile. Against her will, she inched toward him, breathless and aching for him in a way she didn’t understand. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms and pressed against his chest. She wanted his kisses tingling across her lips.

  What are you thinking, Willa? Shimmery heat spilled into her veins and she blushed, staring hard at Star’s mane. She started brushing again in gentle little strokes. There seemed to be no end to her weakness for her husband.

  Simply the sight of his face filled her up. The glow she’d experienced before expanded until it felt as sustaining as the sun. When she spoke, her voice sounded thick and strained. “I’m trying to avoid doing anything that will result in a funny family story about me.”

  “Is that right? Well, then you owe me a story.”

  “What?” Everything vanished except for him and the burning light within her. “I don’t have anything to tell.”

  “Hey, I revealed an incident from my past.” He moved around her, rubbing the horse in short, quick strokes. “You ought to at least do the same.”

  “I’ve certainly never embarrassed myself the way you have.” Mischief chimed in her playful tone.

  “I have more dignified stories, but they aren’t nearly as funny.” He gave the towel a toss, his pupils dilating to black. No distance stood between them now. She reached to lay her hand on the flat of his chest, feeling his strength and his tenderness surge into her. Perhaps that was why her pulse skipped another string of beats when he leaned in, adjusted his hat and whispered softly.

  “You made it clear I’d best ask for permission.” Merriment tugged up the corners of his mouth and he looked like a man who was perfectly aware of his dimples’ effect on a woman. “May I have another kiss?”

  Yes. The answer rose
up from her heart like a fairy-tale wish even as her common sense tried to stop it. He must have read the weakness on her face because he closed in, his mouth slanted over hers, and his kiss brushed pure heat across her lips. This time there was no tingle—no, there was nothing so mild as that. Tendrils of heat spiraled through her until her toes curled.

  Nothing had ever been as consuming as his kiss. The slow caress of his lips, the tantalizing stroke of his tongue and the gasp of his breath told her he was as surprised as she by the power of their kiss. Her head reeled, her blood stalled in her veins and when she looked up at him, clutching his coat, his gaze collided with hers. It was as if she could feel him within her. As if the connection between them had strengthened into steel and hooked into her soul so deeply nothing could remove it. She felt forever linked to him.

  He said everything with a look. Endless caring shone in him, affection he held for her so strongly she could feel it. She could see everything within him. She could feel his love for her. His love shone down on her as if she were the most special woman on earth.

  No way could that be true, but he seemed to believe it. That amazing love ebbed into her from him, bridging the distance between them. The shimmering, glowing emotion filled every part of her.

  Every part, that is, except her scarred and broken heart.

  Chapter Seventeen

  How did she tell him? Willa stood at the counter washing dishes and listened to the pad of his steps draw nearer. Her husband carried an armload of heavy split cedar chunks like they weighed nothing. Raindrops shimmered in his dark hair and danced along the line of his shoulders. The glow within her remained faint but still there, intensifying as she watched him toss her an easygoing smile.

  “I’m going to have to dig you a garden patch.” He filled the wood box, working quickly, wood hitting the steel sides of the box with muted clangs. “I never did bother with one. So you’ll have to tell me where you want it and I’ll get to digging. Maybe this weekend?”