In a Mother’s Arms Read online

  Cassie had known hardship in Chicago, both the pain of her marriage and the fear of doing without. After the divorce, she’d skipped meals so Luke could have all the milk he wanted. “I don’t feel that way about Chicago. I wish I’d never left.”

  As Thelma lowered her hands, the pink yarn puddled in her lap. “You’ve lost your faith, haven’t you?”

  Cassie felt as dry as sand. “I don’t ever think about it.” Except at night when she looked at the stars. Except when she was worried about her son. Except when she looked in the cash box and worried again. She forced herself to look at Thelma’s face and not the baby blanket. “I just want a roof over my head and food and clothing for Luke. That’s enough.”

  “Oh, Cassie.”

  “What?”

  “Things will never be enough. In the blink of an eye, they can be lost forever. Only God is enough. That’s why I’m so worried about you.”

  Cassie thought about what “enough” meant, both to herself and others. She’d taken Gabe’s “enough” when she’d run away. She’d taken her son’s “enough” when she’d chosen Ryan O’Rourke for a husband. Her neck hurt as she stared out the window. “No one took my ‘enough.’ I gave it away.”

  “You made mistakes.”

  “I did more than that.” Cassie had no patience for sugarcoating. She knew how it felt to be the victim of a mistake. After hitting her, Ryan had apologized with trinkets, but she’d still had the bruises. She couldn’t let Thelma excuse the wounds she herself had inflicted on others. She had to take responsibility.

  “I ruined my life, Thelma. I hurt Gabe and Luke, too. I should never have left this town and I shouldn’t have married Ryan O’Rourke. I knew he drank and chased women, but I married him anyway because I wanted a part in a stage play.”

  “That’s still a mistake,” Thelma insisted.

  Cassie turned back to the window. A bee buzzed on the other side, hitting the pane over and over. It reminded her of Ryan’s hand slapping her face and she felt the sting of tears. She turned back to the room, but she couldn’t stop her feelings. They came out in a rush. “When Ryan hit me, I thought I deserved it. Now I’m a divorced woman and my son breaks windows.”

  Thelma lowered the knitting. “Sit down, Cassie.”

  “I’d rather stand.”

  The old woman’s features hardened with determination. “That’s pride talking. It’s my house, and I asked you to sit.”

  Cassie resented Thelma’s bossy manner, but she positioned herself on the divan. When the woman’s eyes shone like silver, Cassie thought of swords and tea sets, the playthings of children that turned them into adults.

  “Your mother’s gone,” Thelma said. “But I’m here and I’m taking her place. Someone has to chase those buzzards away from you.”

  Cassie thought of Rizpah. “What buzzards?”

  “The ones that have you convinced God doesn’t care about you because you’ve made mistakes, that He doesn’t love you just as you are. Those thoughts are black and ugly and evil. God sent his son to die for you, Cassie. He knows all about your flaws. He knows about mine and Ben’s, Gabe’s and even Luke’s. You said you wanted enough. Here it is…God’s love. His forgiveness is all you need. He’s promised you eternal life. Lift up your eyes and you’ll get a taste of it now.”

  Everything in Cassie cried out with need. “I want to believe you, Thelma. I do, but…”

  “But what?”

  “The town hates me. Maude’s spreading rumors. If business doesn’t pick up, I’ll have to leave. Where’s God now?”

  “He’s right here.” Thelma gave her a hard stare. “He’s in Ben and me. He’s in the grass and the sky. He’s in the sun and the stars. You just have to look.”

  Cassie thought of the stars bearing her name, the queen chained to a chair with her neck bent and her spirit broken. What would it be like to look up and see glory instead of guilt? Oh, Lord…Help me. A cry pushed into her throat, but she choked it back.

  Thelma bowed her head. “Father God, Cassie needs you right now. She’s tired and afraid and she’s lost her way…”

  A lump pushed into Cassie’s throat, then tears welled. When Thelma asked the Lord to heal her wounds, the moisture spilled down her cheeks. Still praying, Thelma crossed from the rocker, dropped to her knees and took Cassie’s hands as she lowered her head. “Dear Jesus, you love your children. You love Cassie. Chase away the buzzards, Lord, every one of them. Amen.”

  As Thelma looked up, Cassie thought of all the buzzards in her life. Guilt topped the list by a mile. Fear came in second and it still had its claws in her. If business didn’t improve, she’d be forced to leave town. Maude had been circling Cassie for weeks now, watching her struggle and waiting to pick the flesh from the bones of her store. That buzzard needed to be chased away and Cassie knew how to do it.

  When she raised her face to Thelma, she felt a fire in her belly for a new challenge. “I’m going to have a sale.”

  “That’s a fine idea,” Thelma replied.

  Still holding the old woman’s hands, Cassie pushed to her feet and lifted Thelma with her. “I’ll mark everything half off. Let’s see if Maude can sabotage that!”

  “She’ll try, I bet.”

  “Let her.” Cassie thought of Gabe teaching Luke to defend himself and others. She’d just learned the same lesson. “I have a boy to feed and I intend to do it.”

  Thelma’s eyes shone with pride. “Good for you, Cassie. When is the sale?”

  “Saturday. I’ll advertise in Friday’s paper.” She had no money to spare, but her future depended on the size of the crowd. If she could support herself, she could stay. And if she stayed, she could bake that cake for Gabe. She could even invite him to supper. She took a breath. “Thelma?”

  “Yes?”

  “Could I have that recipe for lemon cake?”

  “You sure can.” Thelma headed for the kitchen with Cassie behind her. As Cassie wrote down the ingredients, she thought about Gabe. Knowing his integrity, he’d come home with Luke and confront her. Instead of a quarrel, he’d get a supper invitation. She couldn’t do more until her business succeeded, but she hoped that day would come.

  She finished copying the recipe, hugged Thelma goodbye and hurried to the grocer where she bought lemons. They’d been shipped from California and were expensive, but she wanted the cake to be perfect. If she hurried, she could have it baking when Luke and Gabe arrived at the apartment.

  An hour later, Cassie had put the pan in the oven and her apartment smelled sweet. She’d just put her hands in the dishwater when Luke came through the door.

  “Ma, I’m home. Can Gabe stay for supper?”

  A deep voice came from the landing. “Hold your horses, son.”

  Son…eating supper as a family. Cassie’s heart thumped with longing. It was too soon to encourage Gabe. First the store had to succeed, but for tonight she could show her gratitude with a home-cooked meal. It would be plain, but Gabe had always liked simple food.

  She reached for a dish towel and headed for the door. “Please, Gabe. Come in. You’re more than welcome for supper.”

  He arched one brow. “I am?”

  Her cheeks flushed. “I’d love for you to stay.”

  He lingered in the doorway, giving her time to change her mind. Cassie flashed to another time he’d lingered…He’d come into her father’s mercantile and bought a set of spoons. He hadn’t needed the spoons at all. They’d been an excuse to chat with her. Smiling, she motioned for him to come inside. “Supper won’t be fancy, but we have dessert.”

  His eyes twinkled. “I smell Thelma’s cake.”

  “I hear it’s your favorite.” Her cheeks turned rosy.

  He looked over her shoulder at Luke. “Go wash up. I need a word with your ma.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Luke padded down the hall, leaving Cassie agape at his good manners. As Gabe stepped over the threshold, she closed the door. Turning, she looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry
for what I said. You were right about Luke.”

  “I didn’t intend to go against your word.”

  “It’s all right.” She thought of the blows he’d taken. “You must be bruised. I’ve got liniment—”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “It was something to Luke.” She wanted to touch his shirt sleeve but didn’t. “Thank you isn’t enough for what you did today, but it’s the best I can do.”

  “It’s plenty.” He touched her cheek with his thumb. “Cassie, I—”

  “Not yet,” she murmured.

  With their eyes locked, she stepped back and smiled shyly. As Gabe lowered his hand, Luke came down the hall. He’d changed his shirt, combed his hair and was carrying a box that held toy soldiers, the ones he’d spent hours painting on wintry days. After a final look at Cassie, Gabe followed the boy into the front room.

  She went alone to the kitchen, a cramped room meant for a single adult and not a family. As she sliced ham and potatoes, she listened to Gabe telling stories about his cavalry days. She’d first heard them on her parents’ porch, sitting with him in the swing while the sun set and the stars came out. Normally she’d have asked Luke to set the table, but she didn’t want to break the mood. Instead she put out utensils herself, then dished potatoes, ham and beans from the stove.

  “Supper’s ready,” she called.

  Luke gave his usual seat—the one across from her—to Gabe, and sat between them, making Gabe the head of the table.

  As he lowered himself on to the chair, he sought Cassie’s gaze. “I’d like to say grace.”

  “Of course.” For the first time in years, she bowed her head with sincerity. So did Luke.

  “Father in Heaven,” Gabe began. “We thank You for this meal and for the loving hands that fixed it. Amen.”

  Direct and honest, that was Gabe. As Cassie lifted her knife and fork, excitement bubbled inside her. “I have news about the store.”

  Gabe’s brows lifted. “Oh, yeah?”

  “I’m going to hold a sale,” she said. “Everything will be marked half off for one day only. If that doesn’t draw customers, nothing will.”

  Gabe looked pleased. “Sounds smart.”

  “I’ll help,” Luke added.

  For the next half hour, they made plans. Gabe offered to paint a sign for the store window. Luke said he’d pass out handbills. By the time Cassie served the cake, they’d become a team. They also had a common enemy, one that couldn’t be ignored. Gabe mentioned her first. “Do you expect trouble from Maude?”

  “Probably,” Cassie answered. “But I’m ready for it.”

  “Me, too,” Luke added. “I hate Billy.”

  Gabe lowered his fork. “Hate’s pretty strong, Luke. Especially when it’s aimed at someone as bad off as Billy.”

  “I don’t think he’s bad off at all,” Luke countered.

  “I do.” Gabe lowered his chin. “Billy’s a bully. One of these days, he’s going to get his clock cleaned and he won’t have anything left. No friends. No pride. Mark my words, that day’s coming.”

  Cassie wanted to cheer for Gabe. He’d directed her son from hate to charity while protecting the boy’s pride. She gave him a look full of admiration.

  Gabe countered with a look of his own. “Maude’s a bully, too. Sometimes you have to fight.”

  “I’m going to.” In addition to holding the sale, Cassie would pray for Maude and Billy when she prayed for Luke. She might not see any changes, but she would do her best. “Guthrie Corners is home. I want to stay here.”

  “Me, too.” Luke added.

  Gabe pushed his plate away. “The sale’s a good idea, but there’s another way to fight.”

  “What?” Her nerves prickled.

  “The Civic Association’s having a social on Friday night. Come with me.”

  Needing time to think, Cassie raised her napkin to her lips and pressed. The Friday night social was a long-standing tradition of the Guthrie Corners Civic Association. For many years her father had served as president. William Drake now held that position and Maude would be the hostess. The event took place in the town hall, but it might as well have been the Drakes’ parlor. Buzzards flapped and cawed in Cassie’s mind. The time had come to shoo them away for good. “I’d like that,” she said, smiling.

  Gabe’s brows shot up. She’d surprised him. She also knew that men brought their wives and children, so she turned to Luke. “We’ll both go, all right?”

  “Do I have to dress up like Billy?”

  Gabe interrupted. “Only if you want.”

  “No way!” Luke declared.

  But Cassie would…If she could triumph on Friday, she’d be back in business on Saturday. She could attend church on Sunday with her head held high. She smiled at Gabe, then sliced a second piece of cake and handed it to him. Years ago they’d danced at socials like this one. He’d taken her for moonlight walks and they’d stolen kisses. Her heart pounded with memories, then dreams.

  “Does Pete Doyle still bring his fiddle?” she asked.

  “He will this time,” Gabe said with a glint in his eye. “I’ll see to it.”

  Chapter Nine

  Gabe slipped six bits into Pete’s hand. “Play ‘Beautiful Dreamer,’ will you?”

  “Sure thing, Deputy.” The livery owner wedged the fiddle under his chin, then warmed up the strings with a fancy scale. As the harmonies filled the hall, Gabe strode to where he’d left Cassie with Dale Archer, owner of the feed store, and Betty Lou Baines, the best seamstress in town.

  The night had been a resounding success, though he and Cassie had both been nervous when it started. Three hours ago he’d arrived at her apartment. She’d been stunning in a royal blue gown, but her cheeks had been as pale as moonlight. He knew how much tonight meant to her. Over the past five days, they’d become close again. He’d kept up Luke’s boxing lessons and he’d muscled cabinets into new places for Saturday’s sale. Every night she’d cooked him supper and they’d talked on the divan while Luke did his homework in his bedroom.

  He hadn’t kissed her for only one reason. She’d made it clear that her future in Guthrie Corners depended on the store’s success. If she couldn’t make ends meet, she’d be compelled to return to Chicago where she could support herself. Gabe didn’t see the need. He could provide well for Cassie, Luke and babies to boot, but she had strong feelings and he had to respect them.

  Tonight Cassie would sink or swim. So far she’d been swimming like a fish. In spite of Maude’s cool looks, Cassie had held her head high. With Gabe at her side, she’d approached businessmen and their wives, inviting them to the store to look at her fine things from Chicago. Gabe thought of the opal ring he’d kept all these years. If the night stayed as bright, he’d be slipping it on her finger in no time.

  He reached her side just as Pete played the first notes of the song. Cassie looked up and smiled at the same memory that had prompted him to ask for it. “Beautiful Dreamer” had been playing when they’d danced for the first time in this same room. He put his hand on her back, then spoke to Dale. “I believe Mrs. O’Rourke promised me another dance.”

  Dale laughed. “It looks like she promised you all her dances, Deputy. Enjoy yourself.” He looked at Cassie. “I’ll tell my wife about the draperies. She’ll be there tomorrow.”

  “So will I,” Betty Lou added. “I’m from Chicago, you know. I loved browsing at Russell’s.”

  Cassie smiled like a gracious queen. “I’ll see you all at the store. We open at 9 a.m.”

  As they turned to the dance floor, Gabe saw a glow in her eyes he’d missed for fourteen years. She’d triumphed tonight. He’d waited long enough. Before the night ended, he’d ask her—again—to be his wife. “Let’s dance,” he said in a gravelly voice.

  “Yes.”

  As she swayed into his arms, he swept her into the swirl of colorful dresses and tapping feet. The way her face lit up was worth every cent of the money he’d paid Pete. He’d never seen her so happy, so
alive. The blue dress matched her eyes and reminded him of a twilight sky. The sparks between them snapped like the fireflies he recalled from his southern youth. He drew her closer. “You look beautiful.”

  “I’m happy.” Her fingers tightened on his shoulder. “Everyone’s coming tomorrow. My father’s old friends…women like Betty Lou. I just needed to open the door.”

  Gabe tightened his grip on her waist, drawing her close as he looked into her eyes. “I can think of another door that needs opening.”

  He meant the door to his house. He wanted it to be their house, but first she had to marry him. The question formed in his heart and rose to his lips. Before he could ask it, Cassie swayed fully into his embrace, keeping time with the music and with him, matching their steps in the slow, sweet rhythm of the song. When he looked into her eyes, he saw stars of light. He also saw fear. Before he proposed, he had to chase it away. “I love you, Cassie.”

  “Oh, Gabe—”

  “I think you love me, too.”

  Her eyes glistened with hope, but she looked down at her feet. “I do, but I’m frightened.”

  “Of what?”

  “Everything.”

  He didn’t want to hear a protest. With the music rising and the crowd swaying, he kissed her tenderly on the lips, tasting the sweetness of their tomorrows without a hint of the bitter past. He didn’t care who saw them. The kiss felt good and right, pure and so full of promise that he didn’t notice when the music stopped and the crowded shifted. Nor did he hear two boys shouting from out on the street. He didn’t come to his senses until Cassie pushed out of his arms.

  “That’s Luke!”

  She lifted her skirt and ran for the door. The crowd had the same idea. Gabe elbowed through the throng and caught up to her as she raced down the wide steps. He heard shouting in the alley, thumps, bumps and a thud that sounded like a fist on a flour sack. As they rounded the corner, he saw Billy sitting in the dirt with a bloody nose and Luke looking proud.

  Gabe pushed ahead of Cassie. “Wait here.”