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His Montana Bride (The Montana Armstrongs Book 1) Page 15
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"I'm not sure I have the heart for a wedding," he confessed around a mouth full of sandwich.
"Go anyway. Maybe while you're in church you can pray on it and find the answer there."
Well, he couldn't argue with that. He headed upstairs, took a shower, changed into slacks and a button-up shirt. He chose a matching tie, grabbed his wallet and truck keys and saw Emily's message on his phone.
Heading to Chicago. Just saying hi.
I miss you. He sent back, doing his level best to ignore the crash of pain and the heartbreak that shattered him. He'd lost her. She'd gone on with her life, which was best for her.
But it wasn't best for him. How did he ask her to give up so much for him? He couldn't.
He waited for her answer. Ting! He glanced at his screen. I miss you. What are you up to?
No good. I should be working with the horses. He hesitated, about to mention he was heading off to his uncle's wedding, but he didn't want to bring up that blessed event, because he wanted a wedding of his own with Emily as his. Painful that it wasn't something that could happen.
He sighed and typed instead. Tamra misses you too, I know she does. She fell in love you, and so she's yours. No argument, no turning her down. No money. She's your horse to love. My gift to you.
He hit send and waited. No answer came. What did that mean? Maybe she was up in the air, not using her phone. Or maybe she simply wasn't understanding what he was trying to say.
The bright sunshine seemed like shadow as he backed his SUV out of the garage. The stunning scenery seemed blank as he drove to town. Color had drained from the world, just like from his soul.
In his mind's eye, he could see Emily clearly, a princess in everyday clothes surrounded by grassy fields, fenced horses and blue, blue skies.
Pain arced through his chest. Pressure squeezed his ribs, and he pressed the heel of his hand directly over his sternum where it hurt the most. It felt like a heart attack, but he knew it wasn't. The prospect of losing the love of your life was tough on a man.
His heartbeat skipped as he drove away, taking the image of her with him. Of golden hair dancing in the summer breeze, of the delicate beauty of her face kissed by the sun, his Montana love.
And he should have told her so.
* * *
She'd made it to the gate for her Chicago flight to Atlanta. Emily sighed with relief. She'd kept the straight through, there hadn't been much choice with the turmoil the storm left in its wave.
She slipped into a black leather seat and stared at the floor instead of the other rather exhausted passengers who were waiting for their flights, too.
She pulled out her phone and gave into the need to look at his name there on her screen. He'd confessed he'd missed her and she wondered what else he'd texted. Her heart ached, longing for him, for the sight of his smile and the sound of his voice.
There it was, his newest text. She read it and then she reread it. Her jaw dropped and her heart forgot to beat. He was giving her his horse? The stunning and pedigreed and purebred Tamra?
Shock rolled through her, and it would have knocked her to her knees if she'd been standing. She scrolled through her contacts, found his name and impulsively hit dial. The thought of talking to him, of hearing his voice, why, she couldn't stop trembling.
Why would he do such a thing? How could he be so wonderful?
Even if their relationship would never work out, she would never stop loving him. Never.
She did her best to fight the uncertainty trying to make its way in and let the phone ring.
It stopped. "Hello? Emily?"
"Cord." When she heard his voice, her entire being brightened with a sweetly loving glow.
"Howdy, pretty lady." His voice held a loving note, one that made her knees wobble and her pulse still. "I didn't expect you to ever call me. You're a busy, important lady."
"Not nearly as important as you, Mr. Big Time Rancher." Her grad school study partner, Jessica, simply died at the picture that Jenna had posted. It was gorgeous country and to own a piece of paradise like that was a true blessing and a gift straight from heaven, she'd said.
It was. It was God touching his life. She would never ask him to give that up. Ever.
So, she couldn't believe what he'd done.
"I'm not so big time. Trust me, I'm the big loser in my family." He chuckled.
He thought he was funny, at least. "I've seen the way your family treats you. Not a loser, Cord."
"I'm blessed, that's what I am. Where are you? It sounds busy around you."
"Yep, I'm at the airport. Made it to Chicago, and I'm waiting for my connecting flight. I just was trying not to think about you and I, well, I." She meant to say, 'I love what you did, giving me a horse. One of my biggest dreams. And you gave that to me.' But the words didn't come, and he kept talking.
"I know what you mean. Right now I'm in a parking lot staring at our church. Our uncle is getting married and I'm supposed to be in there being social." He chuckled. "But I answered your call instead."
"I'm glad."
"Me too." A loud tapping sound came across the line. "That is Alex. He nearly scared me to death. I'm busted. He caught me talking to you and I'm never going to live it down."
"Is he going to take a selfie as evidence to hold against you?"
He howled. "No, but I can threaten him with one and see if he runs off."
"I'd do it. Use whatever you can to keep this call going. I don't know when we'll talk again."
"Neither do I. Hold on." The sound of a car window zipping down came across the line and then the rumble of Alex's voice. Cord answered. "Yeah, okay, I don't want to miss the wedding. I've got to go, Emily. Sorry about the timing."
They had more problems than timing. Instead she said, "Don't apologize. Go with your brother. Text me later, ok? I don't want to lose track of you."
"I feel the same." That's all he said. "Goodbye, Emily."
It sounded so final. It felt that way.
"Goodbye, Cord." The phone went click in her ear, just dead space. She disconnected, her heart heavy.
Well, that hurt. Big, big time. All that she'd meant to say and needed to was now a lost opportunity. She'd missed her chance to tell him what he meant to her. What if she never got the chance again?
"Whew, I made it." Caitlin marched up the aisle, dragging a carry-on suitcase on wheels. "There you are! I can't tell you. I've been praying solid for over two days now, but I finally got a seat near yours. I'm going to sweet talk whoever is sitting next to you to trade seats, I brought a bribe. I've got fifty bucks and I had a donut, but I ate it."
God bless her, Emily thought, laughing. Oh, just what she needed. The balm of good friendship, the blessing of laughter and the chance to help out someone in worse straits than she was in.
"Here, sit down, take my chair, it's so crowded that there's no place else to sit."
"You're a doll. I feel like I should give you the fifty."
"Save it for the plane," she insisted and grabbed her carry-on so it was out of Caitlin's way.
* * *
Well, that hurt. He and Emily were past the place where things had to change and now they would always be going on their own separate paths.
Cord followed Alex down the church aisle and into one of the rows where his family had crowded together. What he wished for was that Emily had stayed one more day. Then she would be here right now, at his side, exactly where he wanted her to be.
Love broke through him with the force of a supernova, outshining everything. The brilliant radiance lit his soul one hundred percent. Love left his heart dangerously open and vulnerable, stronger than any one thing he'd ever known here on earth.
"Oh, it's so fun meeting Emily." Mom leaned over the pew back to smile at him. "What a sweetheart. I wish she could have stayed longer. Maybe she'll be back to visit, huh?"
"I can't see the reason for that." Cord kept it light, so that his wounded heart wouldn't show. That was private. Even lettin
g her go for a while hurt too much. It crushed him. "She took one good look at me and ran off for Atlanta."
"I would," Jenna chimed in, sitting next to Mom. "Sit down, they're about ready to start."
"You two took your time," Granddad pointed out. "Sit down next to me and tell me what's wrong with the girl everyone likes. Even I like her."
"I'm pretty fond of her."
"Then go after her." Understanding twinkled in the wiser man's eyes.
"She truly is my perfect match. She can't live without her family. Neither can I. I can't ask her to choose."
"Huh, well, I can see you love her. Then don't make her choose."
"I can't lose you all."
"There's a solution in there somewhere."
Words failed him. Cord braced himself, but his love for her had overtaken him with such strength and completeness. "What if I've already lost her?"
Pain hit him like a charging bull square in the chest. Worse, his family watched him with silent sympathy. Heartbreak already had a hold on him, a hold he couldn't break.
He swiped a hand over his face to hide the grimace. Grief hit him clean and sharp like an arrow, slicing into his chest and straight through the chambers of his heart.
Air whooshed out of his lungs and he fought not to let it show.
The first strains of Here Comes The Bride lifted from the organ, and he bowed his head. He ached so hard for her, for that music for her to walk down the aisle by, to him one day, that he didn't realize he'd forgotten to breathe. He drew in air, and slowly released it.
He swore he felt God's hand on his shoulder, and he felt the answer. Love does not seek it's own way. And, in truth, he would give up anything for Emily.
Even his family.
15
"The trip to Montana was great," Emily reported as she took a sip of her soda at her Atlanta hotel's more casual restaurant. "But I left my heart there."
"I can tell just by looking at you." Caitlin dabbed a glob of mayo off the corner of her mouth with her napkin. "So, the question is, will you have a storybook ending to go along with the perfect man for you?"
Hope glimmered in Caitlin's words.
But they were like nails to Emily's heart.
Ashley swallowed and set her sandwich down on her plate. "Can you tell yet? Is he the one?"
"Yes." The devastation kept creeping in.
She missed him so much. It hurt to leave him behind. What if this was the end with him? He hadn't texted her. She'd likely been wrong to just up and call him without warning. After he'd kissed her, and they both knew it could never work out. Was she wrong? Had she messed everything up?
Tears gathered behind her eyes and she fought them back, refusing to let them show, even to some of her most trusted friends.
"You don't want to move to Montana," Julie said. "I don't blame you for flying away. I wouldn't. What's in Montana?"
"He is." That was simple. She thought of the life she loved so much in Seattle. She missed it so much, too. But she loved him. Missed him even more.
And wasn't that the problem?
The crushing pain of missing him, of thinking she would never have treasured afternoons with him again, hurt worse than any pain she'd known. How telling was that?
He was worth anything, and she hadn't been assertive enough to speak up and tell him, to risk her whole heart for the man she loved most.
"There's only one solution." Caitlin took a sip of her herbal tea. "You don't write this off. You don't close the door."
"I think he closed it for me."
"Well, that's not good." Julie's eyes rounded. "Uh oh. Warning. I see Skip."
"Oh, I didn't even think that he'd be at the convention, too. Of course, he's here." That would only make her feel worse, the man who said nothing was more staid than she was, so boring. Well, she didn't think so. But she did scrunch down in her chair a bit. "Maybe he won't see me."
"We could drag that potted plant over and you could hide behind it," Emily suggested.
"Too late." Julie shook her head. "Although, Skip brings in seven figures a year. That would make him pretty attractive to me. Are you sure about this farmer guy?"
"Rancher guy. I'm absolutely sure." Emily couldn't breathe past the pain wedged in her chest. Her heart just kept breaking. "And I think he makes more than Skip a year, but that's beside the point."
"Girl, you had better grab that man. He's a handsome guy. Let me take a look at that post of yours." Ashley grabbed her phone and studied the screen, tapping until she had what she was looking for. "See, Julie? Isn't he something?"
"Fantastic. I missed that post. Let me see." Julie stole Ashley's phone. While they discussed the merits of the handsome, well-built rancher guy, Caitlin leaned closer.
"I'd call him again. I would let him know that you would give it all up for him. Whatever the risk, whatever the cost, he's one of the good ones. They don't come around all that often in a woman's life. He's your blessing."
She couldn't deny it. Her life was colorless without him. Tears burned behind her eyes because she longed for one thing. To be in his arms, to know the security of being held against his chest, feeling the reliable thump of his heartbeat beneath her hand.
"Emily?"
She spun at the sound of her name, and shook hit her hard. She blinked, realization dawning, and soul-deep happiness, the lifelong kind, rolled through her. Just like her love for him.
"Cord?"
"Howdy, darlin'." He moseyed toward her with his long-legged stride, looking incredible in boots, khaki trousers, a button-up shirt and tie. He sent her a loving look that made her wobble in her chair and her pulse still. "I found you after all. I was about to text you."
"What are you doing in Atlanta?" Her jaw dropped and she couldn't make it stop. She blinked. "You're definitely not a figment of my imagination."
"I'm as real as could be." He held out his muscled arms, tanned and welcoming and pulled her close to his chest. He smelled of fabric softener and summer forests.
"I missed you." She didn't remember getting out of the chair or standing up, but she savored the secure feeling of being tucked in his arms. She hated when the moment ended and he stepped back. Two inches felt as great as a mile. "How did you find me?"
"You posted a selfie on Facebook." He winked. "I'm real glad you post a lot. You keep that up, and I'll always be able to find you, beautiful lady."
Tears blurred her vision. Cord was one of the good guys. He was her dream. Love strengthened within her, outshining all things.
"Well, that's it." Julie handed the phone back to Ashley. "This is the most romantic thing. He traveled here to win her back. I bet he brought an engagement ring."
"Shh, don't give away the ending," Caitlin whispered. "What's going to happen next?"
"A storybook ending," Ashley whispered back.
Emily sniffed, because one tear had escaped to roll down her cheek. He took both of her hands in his.
"I'm right where I want to be, with you," he said. "I don't need Montana. I need you."
"What did you say?" She couldn't believe her ears, that he was truly saying this, this Montana man, so mighty and strong, so heartfelt and gentle.
"I love you, Emily. All I'll ever need in this earthly life is you."
She didn't answer right away. She opened her mouth, no words came, but another tear tracked down her cheek.
"Darling lady, I haven't been this nervous since I typed the question, 'would you like to meet?'" He considered himself Montana tough, but his hands shook so hard he could barely hide it.
Everything was on the line. His heartbeat kicked into overdrive, sending sharp pains through his chest. Apparently being one hundred percent, no holds barred in love with a woman was rough on a man, even a big, tough cowboy.
She smiled and brushed away a tear. "I haven't been this hopeful since I answered you back and said, I would love to."
"You would?"
"Absolutely." She gazed into his eyes. Looking at him, she
could feel his pain, feel the pieces of his soul. She'd never had any man hurt like that over her, a man she mattered to so much.
And that's how she felt about him.
The sun brightened, falling through the window glass and washed over them like a sign from heaven. True love was rare in this world, a great man difficult to find. But she'd found the best man on a quiet, unassuming ranch in Montana. And she wouldn't take it from him.
Cord was the kind of man whose love was as vast as the blue sky and as long lasting. When he loved, it was all the way to the soul and forever.
Just the way she did.
"What about your new job?" he asked.
"I've decided not to take it, after all." She laid a hand on the center of his chest, above the reliable beat of his good, gentle heart. Tiny sparks of hope caught like gold in the sunlight, sparkling, giving way to dreams.
She watched his forehead crinkle with thought, as if he couldn’t make sense of what she was trying to say. Then realization set in, turning the pain in his eyes into something rare and beautiful.
His pure love for her glittered like blessings so rare that she'd never seen the like.
An answering love so great welled up within her, as grand as heaven and as healing as grace.
"What about your ranch?" she asked, needing him to ask her one question. To say one thing to make this agony in her heart heal, the broken places whole.
"I don't have to keep it. I can sell it or pay my brother or cousin run it for me." He wrapped his hand around her nape, drawing her to him.
"What did you say?" He could not have surprised her more.
"I'll do anything for you, my precious Emily. Even move to Seattle. I can fly back and forth and run things from a distance. I don't want you to have to leave your family, so I will leave mine."
"No, sorry, I can't allow that, because I love you more." Tears rolled down her cheeks. She'd never heard of such a thing, this true man with his true love. "I love you the most of all."
"No, I love you most."
His kiss was flawless, the kind written about in storybooks and in fairytales, wrought with tenderness and full of sweetness. Dreams were born from that kiss, glimpses of their future to come.